we all have those moments :)

we all have those moments...
when you have been in denial or scarred for a long time
and then you suddenly realize that it all can actually change.

we all have those moments...
where you feel like feeling something but you know you can't.
and just miss the chances you have and when you finally figure out that you actually could,
it will be one of the greatest regrets of your life.

we all have those moments...
when you think that there's no more hope.
and suddenly you find one that will help you throughout the hard days
even though it's found in the the most hopeless of a situation.

we all have those moments...
where you feel like you can't love as much anymore.
and a special angel comes into your life
and learn to love like never before.

we all have those moments...
when we fall in love
and you're feeling so lucky, having someone who wants to stay in your heart
like you've never imagine they would
but they do, while making you all warm and fuzzy inside.

so, just don't be afraid of feeling something.
as you won't know what it can offer you
you will never regret it if you try and give your all with heart full of honesty
and love.

I Love You, Abdul Rahman Menteri.
and I never thought I would feel this way for you.
I'm just the luckiest girl in this whole wide world.
you're the chance I'll regret if I ever deny.
:)

Love is Real

love is real
it is not just in novels or the movies
it is fact
and it is standing here
right in front of you
so if you just open your eyes
oh what a sweet discovery
there is hope and there is joy
and there is acceptance
so let all the light that collects on your plants
keep you warm, make you smile
and i will be there with this pen in my hand
to record all the while
you'll be laughing so loud
that the house would shake with sound
and everything will be as new as the day it was found


oh, love is real
it is not just in long distance commercials
or something that you thought you felt
back in high school
so i will turn black and white
become that horoscope you're reading
it predicts that something good is on its way
oh, and i'll send you all the world, green and blue in a box
through the mail
you can open it up
hold it right in your hand
and be glad that it's there
and be glad that you're there
now you can feel all the knots in your stomach
they start to untie
and suddenly it's not so hard to say you're alright


oh, love is real
it is not just in poetry or stories
it is truth and it will follow you
everywhere you go from now on
so if you just cast off your doubts
then your lips would answer for you
oh my darlin when you smile
it is like a song
and i can hear it now
an i can hear it now

Jason Mraz

I just simply love you to the bottom of my heart.

but my love for my yayang Abdul Rahman Menteri is deeper.

kthanksbye. ^______^

Loving You Tonight

Lost in the day, in a way, it's same as the one before this,
And I wish I could say that's it's all black and white
But it's grey. It's the same, it's the same and I'm so tired
But you are what I'm coming home to

Oh and I'm thinking about a red wine buzz and takin' it easy
And I got you in my arms, takin' a break from crazy

And I'll say "hey!"
You'll say "baby, how's your day?"
I'll say "crazy"
But it's all gonna be alright
You'll kiss my smile
I'll pull you closer
Spend a while just getting to know ya
But it's gonna be alright
I'm loving you tonight
Loving you tonight

And you are there on my heart at the start of my every morning
And I can't deny, by the end of the day that I'm running on empty
But you make me full, steal my breath
You're so unpredictable
That's what I'm coming home to

Oh I'm dreaming about a romance, slow dancing with you
When I got you in my arms, I don't care what we do

Every day is just the in-between
The hours separating you from me
I know you'll be waiting
I know that you'll be waiting

*************

loving this song so much!!.

it's by Andrew Allen and I don't know why the heck he doesn't get as much exposure as how he should have.

<3

last week of class

now it's the end of a semester...again.
and you know how it feels like.
all of your accumulated, procrastinated work and assignments are slapping you hard one by one at this point of your semester.
and it hurts like hell.

yeah.

so anyway...for an 'expert' in handling stress (which is usually treated with MORE and MORE procrastination and ignorance of assignments) we should know how to survive this time.
but the fact is that we will only be having 2 final papers out of the 6 courses we're taking this semester.
thus that makes every single assessments, tests, quizzes, assignments, attendance and what not for the rest of  the remaining 4 core, 3-credit hour courses are CRUCIAL and NOT to be taken lightly..or even worse, taken and being done with lots of procrastination.
it's not that we're not bright enough to produce good answers or a high-quality assignment, it's just that we're TOO LAZY with too much leisure time and chances to spend on, as if like we'll never live without them.
and then...everytime when it comes to the end of the semester, THIS will happen.
and now you feel like killing yourself.
T________T

anyway, I better not waste more time and better get to work now.
or else it will be beheading myself.

toodles~ ;'(

pretty cynical and literal huh?. -______-

Beautiful Mess

You've got the best of both worlds

You're the kind of girl who can take down a man

and lift him back up again

You are strong but you're needy

Humble but you're greedy

Based on your body language

your shouted cursive I've been reading

You're style is quite selective

though your mind is rather reckless

Well I guess it just suggest

that this is just what happiness is.

Hey, what a beautiful mess this is

It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write

kind of turn themselves into knives

And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction

But I like being submerged in your contradictions, dear

'Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice

Your comebacks they're quick

and probably have to do with your insecurities

There's no shame in being crazy

Depending on how you take these

words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

And what a beautiful mess this is

It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say

kind of turn themselves into blades

And the kind and courteous is a life I've heard

But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt, oh dear

Cause here we are

What a beautiful mess this is

It's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes

And through timeless words and priceless pictures

We'll fly like birds not of this earth

And tides they turn and hearts disfigure

But that's no concern when we're wounded together

And we tore our dressed and stained our shirts

But it's nice today

Oh the wait was so worth it.

how I wish our love will last
:)
amin.

when I was skinnier

these are some of my old pictures..
I once managed to become a size medium, got out of the 'large' tag/group. :O
and that was before I got into college..
these are when I never thought that I was skinny enough. T_________T
Now: IN YOUR FACE!!.

it is somehow a lot more depressing when you suddenly realized you're not as fat as you think you were..
and now you started to realize that you are skinny enough back then, when you thought you're not at that time.
hmm how now brown cow??
get back into shape lah!

kthanksbye. :(
footnote: this is officially the most depressing blogpost EVER.

Life as it is

people need to be more happy and grateful these days..

it's not worth it to sacrifice chances to be happy and to feel loved.

as for me, I need to appreciate life a little bit more..

I'm kind of having a major mood swing for 2 days now, and I think I'm not being myself for the whole 2 days.

I keep on getting annoyed with almost everything and being a lot more sensitive, and it's bad because it's affecting the people around me and their perception of me..

no worries, I'm not changing attitude or anythg.

it's just PMS kickin' a bit late than usual.

yes my hormones are not really stable for the time being but never mind.

totally an inappropriate subject to talk about in public. -________-

anyways...

the year 2011 is coming to an end..and there should be a new year celebration going on later.

and next week is the last week of class.

then we'll be off for study week for I don't know how many weeks because we'll be having only 2 final papers, which the dates of the finals are yet to be released.

and it sucks because I can't arrange my next month's plan as well as knowing the perfect time to buy flight tickets going back to Sarawak..

as much as I want to go home, hmmm...

this is the thing when you already have a boyfriend here.

I love the feeling of going back to Sarawak last semester break because at that time I was totally single, not attached to any guys even.

but this time of course the feeling's gonna be a bit different but hmm, it's just for 1 or 2 months..I should not worry too much..I think :/

well, let's just hope I'll have a more pleasant year in 2012..

I'm very glad to let go of 2011 because it started like hell and now it's coming to be better by the end of it.

the year has not been really good to me and please oh please, let me have a better year next time.

but still...

I have to accept life as it is.

kthanksbye.

november holidays

I don't feel like writing.

kthanksbye.

how to love

Cut the music up a little louderYou had a lot of crooks tryna steal your heartNever really had luck, couldn't ever figure outHow to loveHow to love
You had a lot of moments that didn't last foreverNow you in this corner tryna put it togetherHow to loveHow to love
For a second you were hereNow you over thereIts hard not to stare, the way you moving your bodyLike you never had a loveNever had a love
When you was just a young'un you're looks were so preciousBut now your grown upSo fly its like a blessing but you can't have a man look at you for 5 secondsWithout you being insecure
You never credit yourself, so when you got olderIt's seems like you came back 10 times overNow you're sitting here in this damn cornerLooking through all your thoughts and looking over your shoulder
See you had a lot of crooks tryna steal your heartNever really had luck, couldn't ever figure outHow to loveHow to love
See you had a lot of moments that didn't last foreverNow you in this corner tryna put it togetherHow to loveHow to love
For a second you were hereWhy you over there?Its hard not to stare the way you moving your bodyLike you never had a loveHad a love
You had a lot of dreams that transformed to visionsThe fact that you saw the world affected all your decisionsBut it wasn't your faultWasn't in your intentions
To be the one here talking to meBe the one listenin'But I admire your poppin bottles and dippin'Just as much as you admire bartending and strippingBaby, so don't be madNobody else trippin
You see a lot of crooks and the crooks still crookSee You had a lot of crooks tryna steal your heartNever really had luck, couldn't ever figure outHow to loveHow to love
See you had a lot of moments that didn't last foreverNow you in this corner tryna put it togetherHow to loveHow to love
Oooh,See I just want you to knowThat you deserve the bestYou're beautifulYou're beautifulYeahAnd I want you to know, you're far from the usualFar from the usual
You see you had a lot of crooks tryna steal your heartNever really had luck, couldn't ever figure outHow to loveHow to love
See you had a lot of moments that didn't last foreverNow you in this corner tryna put it togetherHow to loveHow to love
See you had a lot of crooks tryna steal your heartNever really had luck, couldn't ever figure outHow to loveHow to loveSee you had a lot of moments that didn't last foreverNow you in this corner tryna put it togetherHow to loveHow to love