Social 2013

It's funny how we met and how we got to know each other.
But nevertheless, it is an interesting story.

Nurul Jannah, a friend I made unexpectedly.
She's a wonderful person and she's been a wonderful friend.

And by befriending her, I met some amazing people that I never thought I would meet.
I've been introduced to so many people that it feels quite ... unbelievable, in a good way.

Since I love making lists, here's another one.
This is going to be one of the most precious list I've ever made because it's filled with the fuzziness of friendship. :)

From Rahman, I got to know a beautiful lady named Nurul Jannah.
And by knowing her, my network expanded.
Here's a list of the people I got introduced to for the past one year.

1. Ery
2. Uda
3. Suraya
4. Botak
5. Wan Ehsan
6. Arif
7. Kwn Ery (can't remember his name!)
8. Kwn Arif (from PD)
9. Nur Fazlin - Maher and the family (around 5/6 of them) + Midi, Paan (MSU guys)
10. Zhafri
11. Hassan
12. Saiful
13. Fatima
14. Redzuan
15. Apis
16. Weng - Izy
17. Cik Pah
18. Ija
19. .....

I think there's more to the list.
Recalling these names is not an easy task.
Not to mention the people I met from my practicum.
Pheww, I feel blessed.
:')

Le Babe

I'm feeling 22

Hello 22.
Nothing much to say, really.
It's just another birthday.
I feel so blessed throughout the year.
Made lots of new friends. I'm going to talk about that in another post *coming soon*
21 had been a lot of fun.

As always, for every birthday I will pull out the routine of reevaluation of many sorts of things.
That includes how I see myself in many kinds of life situations, state of heart and feelings, etc.
This year, I'm celebrating my birthday in Muar with my mom.
My friends had celebrated my birthday wayy earlier (1st Nov) because then I know I will not be around on the actual birth date.
We had lots of fun. One of the greatest times of my life. :')

Earlier today, I had the chance to go out to the famous jetty in Muar to relax and enjoy the view.
I was out on my own, and I certainly had some time to really hear myself think.
Somehow it feels like the right thing to do at that time.
Usually I would evaluate how I live throughout the age-21 of my life.
It seems like I treat my birthday like new year, where you reevaluate and make resolutions,etc.
It is my own new year, not anyone else's.
That's special to me.

For now, I would just try to be comfortable and grateful with whatever that has been laid down for me.
I would wanna feel wonderful and comfortable of being single so that I can focus on what's coming next.
I've finished the 1st half of my final year, I think that's a big one.
And the biggest is coming......where I have to actually try to graduate on time.
As for anything else, they can either wait or come in whenever the time is right.
I really don't want to push anything emotional in right now.
Be realistic.

Anything else?
Maybe I'll save it for later.
This is a special post to celebrate the special day.
The rest will be coming in as planned.
toodles. :)

@ Laundry Bar, PJ. Bad Teacher at Laundry's Halloween Party!!

I don't know bout you..but I'm feeling 22!!

Mindblowing Psychology Test

The other day, I was hanging out with some friends from college.
He told me he wanted to put me on a psychology test.
All I have to do was answer a set of questions without thinking too much.
You know, answers that pop into your mind the first time you're asked each question.

So...the questions should start with a description of a situation:
You are about to enter a jungle. You can name the jungle with any name you want (utterly unnecessary but never mind. This is how it started for me. Just to make things seem more interesting by giving it a name)

WARNING!!!
DO NOT READ THE EXPLANATIONS BEFORE YOU ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS.
TO MAKE IT SUPER EFFECTIVE, GIVE THESE QUESTIONS TO YOUR FRIEND AND ASK HIM/HER TO PROMPT YOU SO THAT YOU CAN ANSWER MORE COMFORTABLY.
This is to avoid unnecessary influences to your answers. The answers should be spontaneous and at the same time, honest.

So, here comes the questions.........

1. You are walking in the jungle. Then suddenly, you hear something moving on your right. What animal do you think it is?

2. As you carry on, you hear another sound coming from your left. What animal do you think it is?

3. You walk on...and suddenly you see a campfire. What would you do?

4. When you're done with all that, you carry on with the journey. Then, you see two houses in front of you. One is small and the other one is big. Which house would you pick?

5. So, next you go to the house of your selection. As you walk into the house, you see broken glasses shattered on the entrance. What would you do?

6. Either you enter or exit the house, you can see a waterfall just beside the house. Describe the velocity of the waterfall within the scale of 1 to 5. 1 being the lowest and 5 being the highest.

7. Next, you leave the house and continue your journey. Then, you come across a still water. What would you do?

8. After you're done with all that, you see an exit from the jungle. Describe the exit.

REMEMBER. ANSWER THE QUESTIONS FIRST BEFORE GOING FOR THE EXPLANATIONS.
If you don't have anybody to help you prompt these questions, then just write the answers somewhere suitable. You'll be rewarded. :)


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So... Here comes the explanations for each question. It is believed that each answer reflects yourself in certain life situations.

Question number.....
1. The animal you chose represents how you perceive yourself as a person.
2. The animal you chose represents how other people perceive you as a person.
3. The actions you take when you see the fire represents how you would do when you are faced with risks. So, if you approach the fire in a certain manner, that shows how you handle/take risks in your life.
4. Your choice simply represents your materialistic wants/needs.
5. Your reaction describes how you deal with problems or challenges in life.
6. The scale simply reflects your level/state of desire and lust. Generally speaking.
7. Your action reflects how much care or affection you put in relationships, specifically to your partner.
8. The description of your exit shows how you perceive your future to be like.

The answers are all based on your own perception. For example, if you see your exit as a vortex, maybe you see your future to be just like a vortex. It sucks you inside, not knowing where it will take you.
Have fun.
Ask yourself these questions and realize who you really are.
:)

Good Vibes

Honestly, you will find many emotional posts in this blog if you feel like wasting your time browsing through some of them.
This blog had been dedicated for venting of emotions, which sometimes I think it would be better if I share it with someone who can actually give me feedback and advices.
Maybe I was thinking that through this blog, I can reflect on myself.
But, I don't regret publishing half of them because now I'm having fun reading the stupid, emo side of me.

Thus, from now on, this blog should be filled with more fun stories and of my great life adventures.
I'm in my final year now and will be graduating soon.
So, I guess I will embark on new experience and thoughts that are worth sharing and documented here.
I love documenting my life, like how I am being active in Foursquare, because I'm a forgetful person.
In regards of the previous posts which I think highlighted the childish side of me, from now on I should talk about actual useful things that reflect my opinion on certain matters.
I don't think I will be setting up a new blog because if in any way that I will post the same stuff I've posted before, I can see the similarities more clearly and hence hit the backspace button more ... intentionally.

Currently, I'm in the zone of deciding what's best for me 5 years from now.
That includes my career, my love life, my assets and so on.
Currently, I'm in the process of being my true self, who I actually want to be and how I'm going to carry myself.
With the thoughts of my changed perception of myself, I'm going to take things slow in how I would want to portray myself within the society. *that's a lot of 'myself' in just two compound sentences O_O*

I know I decided on wearing hijab a year ago.
But to be really honest, I haven't been wearing it full-time since day one.
I just didn't want to post my freehair pictures on social network. So, some might think I have been wearing it full-time.
I've cheated on it quite a lot, and I thought to myself that I'm just kidding myself all this while.
I've mentioned this before and I'm going to mention it again, I'm the biggest hypocrite I know.
At least I'm the biggest one to my own self.
And I would want to be honest this time if any of my friends would find it shocking.
I've prepared myself for all of the judgments.
But, this is just who I am. I feel sorry for myself that I haven't been honest since the past one year.
I'm hoping that my friends would respect my decision and carry on with their lives as I carry on with mine.
Insya'allah, I will fulfill that duty whole-heartedly once I get married. That is actually the original plan the whole time, now I'm strong enough to say that I was blinded before.

that's all for now.
will see you soon. :)

Practicum: A Journey

I just finished my teaching practicum on Monday.
It can be considered as a huge chunk of the ultimate journey in getting my degree in education.

It was fun. It was rewarding. It also got me thinking hard for my future.
The last time I felt numb in making life's biggest decisions was when I was torn apart between going for Matriculation in Life Science or Foundation in TESL.
I really can't remember how I got into the decision of going to Foundation of TESL instead of the other one.
I really can't remember how I came up with that conclusion, that decision.
All I can remember is that it felt numb.

Some people may say "You are born to be a teacher."
That might got you into thinking that you have the look, the natural talent.
As for me...I haven't found it yet.
All I know is that I know what I like and what I am passionate about.
I love to talk; share my opinions and thoughts about something.
I love talking to people, I love talking to an audience.
I love to serve, I love to see how people can be happy with the little, thoughtful things I do for them.

Despite all of those realizations I have, I still don't think that I know exactly what I want.
I have all of these feelings and passion inside of me but I don't know what to do with them.
I still don't know where I should channel them in my future career.

Practicum really was a journey.
It made me realize my position in the teaching profession.
It made me realize my strengths and weaknesses.
It made me realize that I don't want to be a teacher.

I don't know why I feel a little bit afraid and restrained by saying that but, I don't think teaching is for me.
I'm sorry, to I-don't-know-who, but the challenges I faced and the limitations inside of me made me realize all of those things.
Some might say I might need to teach a little bit longer in order for me to really finalize this decision.
But, how many months or years would it take?
Was the teaching practicum sufficient enough for me to make a conclusion?

All I know, at this point of time, practicum made me feel stuck.
I remember sitting in the teachers' room and I said to myself, "How did I get here?"
And it wasn't an exciting feeling.
I can't imagine what would make me feel excited.

Maybe I really don't know what I want.
I need to listen to myself think.
Still, after all this time, I haven't gotten the answer.

Le Idea of Vlogging

It's that time again.
I'm bored.
Again, I have just finished reading all of the blog posts I've ever posted.
I realized some of them are embarrassing so I took them down.
I sounded so...sad and a bit immature.
Which means being immature than I am now (I hope).
I'm not even sure which level of maturity I belong to.
hahah.

One more thing I realized, though.
My ideas were all over the place.
I've made a few change of minds in building up this blog.
Once, I thought of turning it to be a bit more informative.
A few posts after that, it went back to become more and more personal.
Long story short, I don't think I know what I want.
And that worries me, a lot.

I've been having a lot of ideas lately.
Been thinking of starting a vlog for product reviews.
And Ita being Ita, when I say products I mean beauty products.
I think that's the only kind of product that I have in abundance.
I'm just a girly girl liddat. :)

So...this vlog should revolve around the stuff that I use everyday and whatever is in my beauty pouches and handbags.
That includes skincare, makeups and shit (not literally).
I'm currently sticking to one skincare product that is from Avon and I'm going to start on that first.
The rest will perhaps be a compilation of my own favorite makeup and also from friends who love makeup as well.

The vlog might also include some beauty tips and tricks.
Maybe if we ever get bored with makeup and being pretty with it, I will also include my personal thoughts and opinions about some things that matter.
I am easily fascinated, so maybe I'll do reviews on talks and lectures like the ones in TED, etc.
Basically, it'll be a vlog full of Ita's thoughts and opinions about basically anything or everything she encountered. :)

Wish me luck with this wonderful plan, though.
Sometimes I need the right push coz I'm often The Thinker, not The Doer.
It's just one of the many bad qualities I have.

Most importantly, wish me luck so that I will not suck balls at recording and editing the videos.
k bye.

toodles. :)

insults

as if I had not felt insulted enough with the previous ending
you sent me an email to end ours.

the miles I went through for you
the tears I shed for something untrue
the doubts and fears I hold back to love you.
I tried so hard, still it was never enough.

thank you for the email.
friends thought it only happens in the movies
thank you for making them believe that,
I'm literally living in the world of unbelievable cinematic fantasies.

funny how it went down
as if you've known me for only a day.

Turning out to be just like you.

As much as I don't want to admit it
I am a daddy's girl.

 We have so many regrets.
 We say things we don't mean.
 We realize our mistakes when it's just too little too late.

  Maybe we're not meant to love.
  Maybe we're not worth to be loved.
  Maybe we're meant to be left behind.
  Maybe we're meant to just envy happiness from afar.

   The worst thing is...
   We seem to never learn from our mistakes.
   At least for me, I assume that no one is exactly the same.
   No one is perfect.
   And with those imperfections, we hurt those we love the most.

But, one thing that I'm proud of
Our love is endless
It never fade away.
That's all we can offer
But it never seem to be enough.

Eyes Like Sky

Sometimes I love posting lyrics of the songs that touched me, and this is one of my favorites.
The singer is Frank Ocean.
Really beautiful song.

"Eyes Like Sky"

Oh yeah

A blind boy sees a green girl

She drives a green car from a dream world

She meets up with a green cloud

And talks of saving the earth from itself

A blind boy saw a blue man

Who rides a blue bus through a nightmare

He leaves word to a blue home

But the blue seems different since she's passed away

And the same boy with sunken eyes saw me

And described yellow so perfectly.

Said, "He's watching."

Oohh

Watching, oohh

Watching, oohh

With eyes like sky

Eyes like I've never seen

A blind boy became a kind man

Who painted white lights on a canvas

He once said he didn't write songs

Cause making music would be selfish

And back then he saw the flags fly

Seen them fight and divide for it

He said war is for those who can see it

But what good is a border to me yeah, yeah.

And the same man

With sunken eyes saw me

And described yellow so perfectly.

Said, "He's watching."

Oohh

Watching, oohh

Watching, oohh

With eyes like sky

Eyes like I've never seen

I said, "I wish you could see the ocean."

He said, "I wish you could see hope."

I said, "Have you ever seen the mountains?"

He said, "No, but my faith could move those."

Oohh woah

I said, "I wish you could see the stars."

He told me I should see love.

Love.

Said, "He's watching."

Oohh

Watching, oohh

Watching, oohh

With eyes like sky

Eyes like I've never seen.

:)

semester 6

Please be nice.
;)

balik kampung

currently at Miri Airport..flight is rescheduled, AGAIN, to 2.30pm..that is suppose to be my ETA in Lawas. T_T

but anyway, I guess it's for the passenger's safety too..
I heard the weather is not doing so well around the northern area so there's a flight that got delayed this morning,affected the other flights that comes after it.

so, I guess just to kill the time, it might be a good idea for me to write a little.
I have in mind a topic to talk about but it is totally irrelevant to the title I just put up, so let's just talk about balik kampung ;)

balik kampung might be the happiest journey for everybody..
it means going back to your hometown, where your family or maybe your grandparents are.
as for me, my kampung would be the small town of Lawas, at the very northern of Sarawak.
my late grandparents' home is at the border of Sabah and Sarawak, which means we go to Sabah quite often.
I love my kampung because the air is fresh, the people are nice, friendly and familiar, the scenery is just to die for, and most of all, it's where the heart really is.
My big family is there.

I grew up with my cousins..we're very close and sometimes we feel like we're all like siblings..they are the people that I can trust and they are always there for me. Might be the best of friends one could ever have.

so..I guess I got to go now. I have to get on board.
Wishing me a safe journey.
toodles!.

Itato, xoxo.

semester 5 going on semester 6

and........it's the holidays again.
2 months holiday shouldn't be wasted so I've decided to drag my ass and my 20kg luggage around from Shah Alam (by bus) to Johor Bahru, (by car) moving to Muar, (by car at 4.30am) to Johor Bahru to catch my 8am flight, (by plane) to Kuching, (by bus) to Miri, and (by plane) to Lawas. We might be going to Sabah somewhere in February as a family.

So, yes. My life for the past one month revolves around buying tickets and checking in and packing stuff. The part where we move to Muar kinda made me tired because I have to help my mom load stuff into the big truck and unload them and then rearranging furnitures in the new home.
As the matter of fact, my mom decided to move to Muar because her husband is giving her the terrace house, located in Tanjung Gading. It's a nice neighbourhood, called Taman Sri Saujana. I might love that place a little bit more even though I'm pretty sad to leave JB. I love JB ;(

But, the 5 days I spent in Kuching was worth it. I had a superb time, and I can finally meet my pretty, beloved niece, Aliya Maisarah. Missed her so much, I haven't seen her since she was 1-month old. Now, she's already 1 year and 1 month old, so yeah, she a big pretty girl with googly eyes. She seemed happy to see me, maybe she remembers me somewhere in her 1 year old memory. :))

That's Aliya at Damai beach in Kuching. I specifically asked for my sister to take me to a beach once I reached Kuching. I've been longing to dip my feet into the sea, and it's great feeling. Can't find that kind of satisfaction anywhere near Shah Alam or KL.

The bus trip I took from Kuching to Miri took up 14 hours. It's a very long journey but the bus is totally dope!.The best bus ever. Each seat is provided with a 10-inch TV, power plug, pillows, blankets, headphones for the TV, food, etc. There's also a stewardess if you need any help. It was a comfortable 14-hr journey and yeah, it's the experience that I'm after.

So, now I'm in Miri. Arrived at Intan's place at around 10.30am and the three of us (Intan, Azizul and I) went out to have fun. It's been a while since the last time I spent my time with these two precious friends of mine. One of the good part of my trip to Miri is that...I got myself a new 32GB iPod..weee~!!. Azizul bought it some time ago and he decided to just give it to me since he never used it anyway.

so yeah...now I'm in Miri waiting for my flight back to Lawas on Monday noon. Can't wait to see Abg Awal when I get back. I miss my kampung friends too.

I think since I will not be getting internet connections that much in Lawas, I got myself a new journal book. I bought it for only 15 bucks and it's the black glitter book from Typo. great bargain, I tell ya.

I feel the need to write down my life adventures somewhere. Hopefully I can write better over time. I don't want to forget the things that I've done and been through, since my life now is in full-blast mode. Hey, I'm 21 and it's my prime year. Wanna LIVE while I'm young.

#YOLO

until then. see you in the next adventure.

toodles!.

Itato, xoxo.

no single F should be given anymore

seperti orang tak betul
aku berlari-lari ke arah gelap itu.
menantikan sesuatu datang menampar pipiku
lalu membawa ku pergi.

sedang aku berlari, aku semakin hampa
hampa tanpa keringat, siksa.
kaki terseret, tapak terluka
meninggalkan jejak yang hiba.

makin aku paksa, semakin aku tidak berdaya
paksaan ini tiada hujungnya.
semua kerana kau
kau yang sentiasa mendusta
akibatnya aku juga yang derita.

maka
ada baiknya ku simpan saja
biarkan debu memakan usia.
kerna semuanya akan ok sahaja
jika aku lontarkan peduli ke semak
jika aku katakan "I don't give a F*."


Ita (2012)
on Twitter.