Practicum: A Journey

I just finished my teaching practicum on Monday.
It can be considered as a huge chunk of the ultimate journey in getting my degree in education.

It was fun. It was rewarding. It also got me thinking hard for my future.
The last time I felt numb in making life's biggest decisions was when I was torn apart between going for Matriculation in Life Science or Foundation in TESL.
I really can't remember how I got into the decision of going to Foundation of TESL instead of the other one.
I really can't remember how I came up with that conclusion, that decision.
All I can remember is that it felt numb.

Some people may say "You are born to be a teacher."
That might got you into thinking that you have the look, the natural talent.
As for me...I haven't found it yet.
All I know is that I know what I like and what I am passionate about.
I love to talk; share my opinions and thoughts about something.
I love talking to people, I love talking to an audience.
I love to serve, I love to see how people can be happy with the little, thoughtful things I do for them.

Despite all of those realizations I have, I still don't think that I know exactly what I want.
I have all of these feelings and passion inside of me but I don't know what to do with them.
I still don't know where I should channel them in my future career.

Practicum really was a journey.
It made me realize my position in the teaching profession.
It made me realize my strengths and weaknesses.
It made me realize that I don't want to be a teacher.

I don't know why I feel a little bit afraid and restrained by saying that but, I don't think teaching is for me.
I'm sorry, to I-don't-know-who, but the challenges I faced and the limitations inside of me made me realize all of those things.
Some might say I might need to teach a little bit longer in order for me to really finalize this decision.
But, how many months or years would it take?
Was the teaching practicum sufficient enough for me to make a conclusion?

All I know, at this point of time, practicum made me feel stuck.
I remember sitting in the teachers' room and I said to myself, "How did I get here?"
And it wasn't an exciting feeling.
I can't imagine what would make me feel excited.

Maybe I really don't know what I want.
I need to listen to myself think.
Still, after all this time, I haven't gotten the answer.