beading madness xO

ngeheheh skrg aku mcm budak sekolah.
turun naik g umah cousin my dad yg anaknya pandai jahit manik, and aku plak jd apprentice lah konon2nya..ngeehee~.......

tadi beli beads ckit2 kat pekan Lawas tercinta.
dulu dh byk beli beads sbnrnya tp msa tu tak berapa pandai lg.
but then all of my crafts and tools smua tinggal kat Shah Alam, tak bawak balik for the holidays.sbb dh boleh agak yg aku mmg xda masa nak buat.ada je msa sbnrnya....tp tulah,hmm menyesal plak tak bawak balik.kalau ada,kan dh siap cross stich aku tu. :/

anyways...
raya dah nak dekat..so apa patut aku buat??
cuti plak,skrg aku ada exactly 1 month nak settle segala-galanya (ROS report,arghh~!!) and to spend time while hvg fun with my friends.
as well as helping out my dad finishing up his house renovation.
busy kann??.
nak jahit manik lagi. :/

and........my holiday romance nih mcm x jadi je. :/
haiyoo forget it.dah dah,xyah nak desperate sgt.
lebih baik tak jadi drpd benda tu dh jadi nnti pastu nak cancel balik.
buat sakit hati je.

ok,pasal beads.
agaknya td beli tu mcm membabs buta je.
sbb aku tak tau pun baju mana satu aku nak letak beads.hahahahhaha
tapi takpe,aku amik kaler universal & yg agak2 gorgeous utk most of my baju kurung.

plus........
nnti friday nak gerak gi KK..
apa sebab?. KK-KL lahh heheheh
bak kata org Lawas, "siok kali ahh...soping raya kali ahhhhh~....."

ada beberapa target utama:
#1. 2-shades beaded baju kurung. (dah google gambar,tak jumpa..sobs sobss)
#2. kasut raya..cotton on je kot.kalau bapak aku murah hati, nine west!.charles and keith ke...ngeheheh xP
#3. hmm tu je lh kot ;D

so doa-doakan lahh aku jumpa and dapat apa yg aku nak.

kthanksbye.

break it down for me,will you please?.

okay for this post agak malas nak write fully in English..let's take a break for that,shall we??.

okay,tujuan sbenornya nak campur2 la..rasa2nya typing rate aku meningkat,benda yg nak diluahkan lg senang begini. xD

ok,apakebendalah yg aku nak cakap ni sbnrnya?.

since a few days ago,I just can't stop THINKING.

siyes aku asyik termenung..dah la termenung,muka monyok stress smcm.

igt lg gengs rapat dlu ckp aku sesuai sgt jd pelakon, sbb ekspresi muka aku sgt ketara with whatever I am feeling at that moment.

contohnya...kalau aku marah/tak puas hati,confirm muka aku jd cam singa betina..alamatnya semua benda lh boleh jd tempias aku..even kucing tepi jln. (-_____-)"

kalau aku sedih,muka kecewa nak mampus.ekspresi lebih kurang la mcm yg td tp ni lebih kpd monyok,sedih,tak bertenaga.

and........kalau aku in love??.

heheheh...mula la korg tgk aku pandai senyum2 sendiri,mengelamun byk angan2.

#likeseriously, kalau korg nak label aku 'pompuan gila',aku mmg takley nak ckp apa.senyummm memanjang :)))))))))

hambek kau.

ok,ckp psl in love.

agak2 mcm in love lah plak skrg.

looking at my previous posts,korg pun dh boleh agak kan?.

tp in love kali ni buat aku banyak berfikir.

mamat bertuah (bertuah kerr??) kali ni mmg aim nak buat aku jd mcm The Thinker tu kan?.

alaa,korg tau kan patung lama bogel yg tan gila babs nih??.

haishh,malas nya nak download gambar patung tuh.

next post lah,line internet cam hampeh..

hmmm serious aku tak tau mcm mna nak handle situasi skrg ni.

before nih aku dh byk kali gak la deal ngn guy problem.

tp kali ni susah ckit..

this guy pemalu nak mampus.

mcmna nak jadi kalau asyik sorong tarik sorong tarik 24/7??

lama2 tension plak aku..

yes, I know I don't have any confidence or self-esteem problem..

I can even make a speech or bagi ceramah if you want me to.

tp yelah, org kata kalau dh suka tu, even the strongest heart could melt like lava.

so, aku jd blushing2 lah pulak.

bagi yg kenal aku & tau sgt ngn sifat berani & confident aku, mmg rasa2nya dorg nak kasi aku pelempang.

kali ni, I suddenly feel like.....a girl..?

ngahahah bukannya selama ni aku confuse ngn identiti sendiri..tp skrg fefeeling mcm gadis kampung zmn dedulu yg berlari-lari anak masuk dlm bilik pastu baling diri sendiri atas katil semengada-ngadanya gelak tersipu-sipu bila ada mamat duk kt luar borak ngn Encik Wasli confess dia ala2 nak jd kumbang menyunting bunga di taman larangan..

larangan la sgt..hmmph.

tp insyaallah,aku boleh jd menantu yg baik..& isteri yg baik.

amin...

ecewahh xD

(hoishhh banyak ckp la plk,mnyimpang dr topik sbnr)

ok ok...post kali ni sbnrnya - break it down for me,will you please?. - nih nak ckp psl mamat ni lah.

haiyooooo engkau sbg lelaki,cukup pemalu plak ngkau.

jenuh aku mnunggu somethg real to happen.

jenuh aku tggu kau ckp "eh,jom couple.aku akn berusaha jd boyfriend yg baik & setia walau kita berjauhan".

confess dah dua (2) kali. DUA KALI.

dua kali ni jugak lh duk ckp psl perasaan.ckp psl gengs yg gila menyokong idea nih & bincang2 psl idea dorg nak menyatukan kami berdua.

tapi dlm dua kali tu jugak lah ko nak bwk aku main sorong papan tarik papan.

aku bagi kau bekas papan sebijik kat pipi tuh krg,merana........

why couldn't you just break it down for me one by one??.

biar slow and steady,aku tak kisah.asalkan jgn jadi too draggy..aku blh naik malas.

slow and steady wins the race.

it's not really that hard to spit it all out when the girl is already responding super well and she even tell you tht she likes you too every time you tell her you do.

tp bila dh terbawak-bawak sgt sikap segan sipu-sipu tuh,satu bnda haram pun tak jadik.

nak ckp aku tunggu dia,dia pun tunggu aku??

hehh mintak ampun,mintak maaf..aku pun segan.maybe sbb aku suka,aku mmg mcmtu.

plus I got the girls' licence, guys should make the major moves.

of course lah I did some of the first moves tp takkan la nnti bila nak kawin nak aku jugak pegi merisik ngkau??.

at first steps of relationship,biarlah si lelaki yg mendahului.

bagi aku,itu lumrah alam.baik itik pun si jantan kejar si betina,apatah lg manusia.

plus,it shows effort from the guy's side.kalau dr awal dh nampak kesungguhan tu,so aku sbg pompuan yakin la jgk yg lelaki tu mmg betul2 nak kt aku & nmpk bertanggungjwb,ada ciri2 jd ketua keluarga gteww......

sapa taknak?????.

angkat kaki,meh aku buat sup bunjut mcm aku buat kat kaki ayam.

scary tak??. ;D

hmm for now,aku just nak go with the flow je lah.

keraguan mmg banyak nih,tp biarlah masa mengubat segalanya.

tapi tu lh...nasihat aku kat mamat nih:

kalau kau betul2 suka & betul2 nak kat aku,jgn la buat aku tunggu lama.

sesungguhnya penantian itu satu penyeksaan.

bukan nak bangga diri,bukan nak kata diri yg tak berapa nak hot ni laku,tapi...

bukan kau sorg je yg nak kat aku skrg nih.

ada la jugak beberapa calon yg menunggu.and I'm serious.

mmg I really want you the most,tp kalau nmpknya mcm tak ada masa depan, I can't wait forever.girls do have a shelf life.

skrg umur aku dh nak cecah 20-an..bagi pompuan mcm aku,at this point of my life,aku dh start cari calon suami.kali ni,kalau aku nak couple pun,biarlah lelaki tu aku mmg dh berkenan sgt & rasa2 mcm boleh dibuat jd laki..mana lh tau,jodoh kita sampai 5-6 tahun,you might just be the one.not the first but might be my one and only last.....

toodles~.

make you feel my love

When the rain is blowing in your face,
and the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
and there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
to make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
but I would never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
no doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
to make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
and on the highway of regret.
Though winds of change are throwing wild and free,
you ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
to make you feel my love

I would rather not feel anything

sometimes we'll be better off not feeling anything.

coz feeling something leads to many consequences.

some good.but mostly, bad.

for instance, having a 'special' feeling towards someone.

I know, like, duhhh~, this is totally inevitable when it happens.

I think all feelings are inevitable, don't they?.

but what the hell, this one is the most common.

and this is the reason why this post exist.

teehee.

other feelings - we can get rid off easily.

I mean, not totally get rid off but at least you can push it to the back of your mind.

but the feeling of falling in love?.

try opening up your stomach and see butterflies come out of your guts whenever you see that particular someone.

it is a beautiful feeling but this is the point where we will build up expectations and most importantly, hope.

hope of having that person close to your heart.

but if that never happen...

you'll be partially crushed and the rest is just full of disappointment.

and the feeling of not wanted?. hahah for sure.

and then you'll feel unattractive, inadequate, stupid for expecting even the smallest thing he/she do has a meaning/is a sign.....

so yeah,

you would rather not feel anything.

coz feeling something might just break your heart even more.

toodles~.

FE Journal #3

and yes.....

about these FE journals thingy??.

forget it.

I was just too tired to do anything with it.

teehee!

xD

Ramadhan is here...again!.

first of all,

thank you Allah for giving me the chance to breathe Ramadhan's air this year.

the month sure feels different than any other.

:)

I think this is my first time ever celebrating Ramadhan here in my lovely kampung, Kuala Lawas.

our previous home back in Miri is now an abandoned government's quarters, waiting for another resident to fill in the space we left.

our space.my room.the kitchen.the living room.

looking back at those years we've spent in that house, surely can make me cry.

my beloved cat, Tipah - we had to leave him pointless about why the house is suddenly empty and us, the family once he had, gone without goodbyes.

okay, now I'm starting to cry for the first time, for him, just because I couldn't bear these thoughts of him before.so I decided to just keep it at the back of my mind coz if I would think about him, it'll definitely ruin my mood.

hahahah feels funny addressing a cat with 'him' but still, he's family. :)

okay, enough of Tipah, am pushing him back to the back of my mind.

Ramadhan.

what can I say about this year's Ramadhan??.

I don't fast since the first day of Ramadhan.haha.

whyy??.I did woke up 3.30am in the morning and had my sahur on that first day.

but my menstrual cycle decided to arrive early than expected, so, yeah. I think I fasted for only an hour that day. T____T

now we're entering the 4th of Ramadhan.

and......still. no changes whatsoever in my daily routine.

so yes, I can say my life is pretty dull and boring for the last 3 months.

except for the fun parts I had with friends and all.

but still, all I do is sleep eat TV.

life's good?. I don't think so. :/

now let's talk about romance.

the ex-boyfriend from highschool years is being the most annoying pain in the neck.

I don't think the idea of recovering the relationship we had before is a good one.

it may sounds bad but #likeseriously, I don't want you anymore, so get the hell out of my life.

coz maybe I'm falling for someone else right now.

and yes, I think I am.

he's the sweetest guy I know.

but I think he's just too afraid to tell me how he really feels.

he doesn't have any problem talking to any other girl but when it comes to talking to me, I can sense a difference.

or maybe it's just a silly hunch but, I don't know. just going with the flow~.....

but, I think I don't want any special relationship with any guy at the moment.

I do admit, I think I kind of like him a bit. maybe a lot coz it feels different and I'll get nervous and all when I see him. I don't know.

but surely if it'll happen between us, it'll be a LDR for sure.

but what the heck, the whole point of not wanting to be in a relationship with any guy at the moment is bcoz I want to concentrate and focus more on my study, without any guy hanging on my mind, thinking of when we should meet and the thoughts of taking every chances of seeing each other every time the chances seem........grabable. (???)

hahahah 4 months of holiday makes me feel like making excuses to make errors on my English.teehee.

so, my point is.......maybe it's possible to just be in a relationship with this guy.

coz it'll be a subtle, stress-free relationship without hvg to think of too much stuff.

;D

so just hope that one of us will finally say something and make it happen.

at least I know I don't think it's gonna be me.

teehee~.

toodles~.... ;D