$

that unholy human-made sign is totally depressing.
been thinking of getting a part-time job that is flexible enough to fit my busy schedule.
but just by looking at the word 'busy schedule', how could I manage??.
I'm totally an unfocused person, don't think I can do it.
but hey, last post baru cakap pasal optimism..
hahahha LOL to myself.

this semester, PTPTN gave me RM2200.
and bayar beli itu ini - things included in the 'dire in need' shopping list - tinggal RM1500.
and that's the amount of money I should live with for at least 5 months.
T_______T
and agak jealous sebenarnya tgk org yg dpt scholarship RM5500 per sem tu..
tapi korg ada kontrak bekerja yg agak lama...so~
malas lah nak cakap apa pasal tu..I don't even know how my future would look like nnti. :/
sgt memeningkan kepala.

asked my sister and dad if it's possible for the 4 of them - included my mom and eldest sister - to give me RM100 each every month..at least it'll cover house rent, bills, and shared house groceries.
plus, I really think I should get the Ayamazz Roti Impit job coz it's in the faculty compound, totally flexible, and....at least they're giving me RM3 per hour.
so...walaupun tak berapa banyak jam bekerja aku per month, at least I'll have some money.
there's nothing to lose.
tapi sekarang satu je masalah..kakak ayamaz tu mintak jadual kelas.
sampai skrg tak bagi2 lagi..adakah aku betul2 ingin bekerja??.
see...I'm contemplating AGAIN.
I'm always like this and I HATE IT.
period.

and WHYY the heck am I blogging about depressing stuff??.
maybe it's not actually depressing, but I noticed that I always blog about something I should do but I NEVER do/did.. and that's the only depressing element in it.

always think that blogging sessions are my way of reminding myself of what I should do, what I was supposed to be doing but not doing it, things I want but sometimes never try to strive for it, things I said I would do but I never do at all or it doesn't reached its finish line, things I assume to happen but not happen, things I hope to happen but the total opposite will happen, and yada yada yadaa~..
oh gosh, this is confusing.

ok you can stop reading my blog now.
kthanksbye. ;(

optimism~

okayy really needing some optimism nowadays...
plus I need to be a bit more confident of myself.
eventho I've gained some more weight, which makes me 85kg since last night's attempt on the weighing scale.
erkk~!..
plus according to the BMI thingy (I really wished it is superficial but sadly it's not) I'm damn overweight..
which makes it more scary O_____o

some people tried to comfort me by saying 'heyy tu pasal tulang kau berat lahh"..
yeah right. :|
still sedih, won't make a difference.
bcoz #likeseriously, the 85kg is evident just by looking at the middle area of my body..
tolonglah, dah mcm 3 bulan pregnant
T________T

you can eat less, you can even eat nothing - which usually will kill you inside out.
but the only thing that matters is the physical activity..
nak workout, nak go out for a jog every other evening.
tapi..............hmm~
all I can imagine right now is my ROS report, event/program paperwork, turun naik kelas, Unifi (:p), paling2 pun pegi tasik-bukan jog,tapi sekadar berjalan-jalan pusing tasik..

which is totally NOT a bad idea after all.
kalau takley jog, at least jalan2..mana lah tau kalau dah biasa/disiplinkan diri utk pegi tasik at least 3 kali seminggu, lambat laun I'll jog jugak kott...just kena biasakan diri.
and again, OPTIMISM!!.and kena ada that sense of PAKSAAN DALAM DIRI..
:/

ok nak blog pasal benda lain.
I guess all that are enough said, takut nnti makin depressed.

kthanksbye.

awesome-pawsome week!!.

why so, you may ask??.
it's because.....

1. the housemates decided to install Unifi in our sect 17 home~!!.so excited, the Unifi guys will come over this Friday!!!..so yes, I need to make a list of the stuff I want to download. xD

2. I went to Konsert/Karnival Suara Kami 2011 last Saturday with Iera, Fik, Onii, Ainatul, Pajid and Iera's housemate..it was AWESOME!!.but sadly, I was wearing skirt with leggings so I can't join the rodeo ride or the wall climbing adventure ;( but not to fret because I got the chance to witness a great concert and aaahhhh~!!!.it's Nelly for crying out loud!!!. xO

3. Last night I went out with Joe to celebrate In's bday with Ikram and Azam + fiance at Asia Cafe, Subang Jaya..we had fun, I ate Fettuccine Alfredo+a slice of a delighful pizza+blackforest bday cake..and then, after dinner it was pool time!!.it's been a while since the last time I played pool with ze guys and I missed those moments so much. ;)

4. eerrrrr I went out some more since last Thursday till Sunday, which was last night...Thursday & Friday was shopping therapy sessions with the babes and the weekends.....the story had been told~..on that 2-day shopping therapy I bought a new, gorgeous Rimmel's lipstick in Undressed - hot, gorgeous, subtle nude shade with a hint of pink. bought metallic nail laquer at Cosway - fame in gold. what else hah??.some more, I can't recall..tee hee~!. ;p

5. awesome classes throughout the week, I think we're gonna have fun this semester...and oh yes, the semester's first Ethos!. meeting..we talked about the activities to be held this semester..we're gonna have Ethos!. Carnival, a couple of theater-watching at Istana Budaya, movie circles, some community services, Ethos!.'s corporate shirt & tshirt making, and some other TESLians cool stuff. ;D
and yes, I've joined Debat Bahasa Melayu for this semester's co-curriculum..and~ we're automatically the excos for the record-breaking non-stop debating event for 9 days & 9 nights, organized by UiTM, involving our own students as well as debaters from other IPTAs..it's gonna be hectic but we'll be a part of UiTM's biggest history ;D

6. currently am browsing through an online shop selling cosmetic contact lenses..am planning to buy the puffy 3-tone pink lenses, I think it's gonna be gorgeous...!! getting rid of the purple lenses bcoz it's irritating my left eye. ;O

7. somewhere around last week, Nad, Onii, Sai and I had dinner on the Dataran Shah Alam field which has a nice view of the Grand Blue Wave Hotel..we bought drive-thru McD and it's just like a late-night dinner cum picnic!!.it was awesome, we had great laughs. xD

8. also bought new closet and clothes drawers...now my clothes have finally found their rightful home in the house..teehee~!. oh yes, and they're in red and pink!.the drawers & closet I mean. ;)

whooaaa that's a whole lot of things...not to mention a sleepless night trying to finish my ROS report, in which at the moment it has not yet reached the finish line T_____T
but anyway...gonna get it done at least by tomorrow *fingers crossed*...looking at those things I've been doing since last week, my free time was filled with parties and shopping and fun and games..so, I better get going on my assignments..ngeehee~

toodles~ ;)

the new beginning

uhmm as a matter of fact, I don't even know how it could be the new beginning (of my life)..
maybe sebab ada quite a lot of perubahan kott in in my life, starting this semester lah.
(rasanya mcm byk buat azam baru for this semester..tahun baru tak sibuk plak fikir psl azam2 ni)

list of Azam Sem Baru:
1. beli almari & laci baju - DAH BELI & BILIK DAH CANTIK!!.sekian.
2. tak nak get involved in any serious relationship.. (insya'allah~)
3. get my ass into Dean's List.. (not like literally my ass...it's just that,ya' know,try to get into the Dean's List) :/
4. have a system for my notes and studying strategies... (hopefully aku komited)
5. dah malas nak pkai button badges Individium tuh..sebab badges tu tulis FL(Fashionably Late) & PR(Procrastinator)..mcm tak elok je,mendoakan benda tak baik utk diri sendiri.. :/
6. berkenal-kenalan ngan budak Asasi.......??.tengok ah camne nnti.
7. nak workout & eat healthy sebab check2 BMI overweight..! O__________o mula risau ngn kesihatan tubuh badan. ;(
8. nak beli beg yg mahal & sturdy...supaya tak payah nk deal ngn beg rosak & menyusahkan kehidupan sehari-hari..
9. there will be days yang aku mmg xnak pakai mekap turun kelas...nak try lessen it gradually. :)
10. kumpul duit, beli BB Torch..#kthanksbye.

so yes...
kalau update blog,aku mmg suka buat list2 ni......
supaya boleh refer bila2 aku lupa ho5 boleh lak nak lupa.
nak blog pasal my 4-months holiday,tapi......
hidup agak horrible masa tu, so I need a good quiet time to blog about it.
so yes,talk to ya later.
toodles~ ;D