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that unholy human-made sign is totally depressing.
been thinking of getting a part-time job that is flexible enough to fit my busy schedule.
but just by looking at the word 'busy schedule', how could I manage??.
I'm totally an unfocused person, don't think I can do it.
but hey, last post baru cakap pasal optimism..
hahahha LOL to myself.

this semester, PTPTN gave me RM2200.
and bayar beli itu ini - things included in the 'dire in need' shopping list - tinggal RM1500.
and that's the amount of money I should live with for at least 5 months.
T_______T
and agak jealous sebenarnya tgk org yg dpt scholarship RM5500 per sem tu..
tapi korg ada kontrak bekerja yg agak lama...so~
malas lah nak cakap apa pasal tu..I don't even know how my future would look like nnti. :/
sgt memeningkan kepala.

asked my sister and dad if it's possible for the 4 of them - included my mom and eldest sister - to give me RM100 each every month..at least it'll cover house rent, bills, and shared house groceries.
plus, I really think I should get the Ayamazz Roti Impit job coz it's in the faculty compound, totally flexible, and....at least they're giving me RM3 per hour.
so...walaupun tak berapa banyak jam bekerja aku per month, at least I'll have some money.
there's nothing to lose.
tapi sekarang satu je masalah..kakak ayamaz tu mintak jadual kelas.
sampai skrg tak bagi2 lagi..adakah aku betul2 ingin bekerja??.
see...I'm contemplating AGAIN.
I'm always like this and I HATE IT.
period.

and WHYY the heck am I blogging about depressing stuff??.
maybe it's not actually depressing, but I noticed that I always blog about something I should do but I NEVER do/did.. and that's the only depressing element in it.

always think that blogging sessions are my way of reminding myself of what I should do, what I was supposed to be doing but not doing it, things I want but sometimes never try to strive for it, things I said I would do but I never do at all or it doesn't reached its finish line, things I assume to happen but not happen, things I hope to happen but the total opposite will happen, and yada yada yadaa~..
oh gosh, this is confusing.

ok you can stop reading my blog now.
kthanksbye. ;(