be a good lover

a good lover is defined as...

being loyal and truthful to your partner.
loving
attentive
supportive
understanding.

but being a simple human being
enough is never enough.
we overlooked.
we over-think.
we did not realize the true moment of appreciation.
and I'm never perfect.
I'm never the saint.
I'm not always right.
I make mistakes
so do everyone else
so do you.

endure.
as loving is never easy in this world of ours.
nothing is easy.

keeping my sanity

too many things happening at once.
sometimes I think I just couldn't handle it anymore.
so after a few burnouts and yelling out of nowhere,
I just decided to make a few bad decisions for the past few days.

when I needed to escape, I escaped.
these days, this particular end-of-semester,
is definitely testing my patience and inner strength.
I think the possibility of losing my mind is...
possible.
at the moment.
and during several moments just a few days ago.

thus I'm just waiting for all these to end.
thus I'm just gonna keep quiet if you're mad at me.
thus I'm just gonna wait for things to be okay.
thus I'm just NOT going to give up on anything
or anyone.

I'm taking this as a phase.
one of the many bitter phases in my life.
I'm simply troubled, I can't handle stress really well.
just...
keep calm and carry on.

made from http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/

bila aku sudah tiada

bila aku sudah tiada
biarlah semua orang meneruskan hidup
menggunakan semua peluang yang ada
semua peluang yang aku tinggalkan

bila aku sudah tiada
sebarkanlah hartaku sebaik-baiknya
berikanlah kpd anak-anak itu
yang bisa membuatkan hatiku tersentuh,
menangis di jiwa.

bila aku sudah tiada
aku mahukan orang yang aku cinta
membahagiakan dirinya di alam yang nyata
dengan perasaan yang lebih benar
dengan perasaan yang lebih dalam

bila aku sudah tiada
lakarkanlah memoriku
di dalam buku yang tebal kulitnya
agar bisa kau tanam dalam-dalam
cukup dalam hingga kau tak mampu mengoreknya kembali

bila aku sudah tiada
maafkanlah dosaku
maafkanlah khilafku

bila aku sudah tiada
berbahagialah semuanya
aku hanya
satu cebisan hidupmu
tak kira kecil atau besar

kau akan harungi
kau harus lepasi

new look

pheww...

at least now you don't have to strain your eyes when visiting this blog.

heheh

before, I had the background in striking colours of hot pink and bright, deep orange.

at least now it looks a lot more subtle and calming.

easier to read too, I've changed the font.

:D

anyway,

to go really deep into this topic, it's not just about the blog.

I'm turning into a new leaf,

now, since a couple of months ago,

I've been wearing hijab.

full time.

I admit to the fact that before, I dress sexily.

I do short pants, short skirts, dresses, sleeveless and what nots.

maybe the term 'dressing sexily' could be subjective to certain people,

but I think you get the point.

I expose my skin quite a lot.

tee.hee.

anyway, now I don't do that anymore.

it's a challenge, going through my wardrobe and clothes racks at the mall - defying to go back to the old me.

why?

I feel comfortable in this new look.

I feel safe.

I feel good.

some people asked me WHY.

I really don't have a certain answer for that.

it just, happened.

and I don't think that I'll be changing my mind.

this. is better.

so...

people do change.

I know I can.

I just, know.

antara perlu dan takut

seringkali
aku dilihat. sama sahaja.

perlukah
diri ini dipersembah begini
bukan lagi seperti yang kau kenali.

aku bukanlah apa yang kau nampak
aku bukanlah apa yang kau lihat
aku lain
aku sentiasa berbeza.

mungkin aku ingin berubah
dan mencuba apa yang baru untuk diteroka
mungkin disini bermula
satu cabaran yang tiada keperluannya.

bukan kebiasaan

ngeheheh tonight I think I'm gonna write in BM.
I can easily be influenced,and I've been reading books in BM quite recently.
it's been evolving in a way I didn't expect, and I'm still exploring the beauty in them :)


ok. ini bukan kebiasaan.
menulis dalam BM.
blog dah ada lama, tapi hampir semua dalam Bhs Inggeris.

(sorry to say, tp sebenarnya aku suka menulis dlm bentuk begini. bukannya pengaruh dr sesiapa, cuma aku tak menyokong penulisan bahasa Melayu yg digelar 'moden' atau 'bahasa elektronik')


ada buku.
penuh dengan coret tak tentu hala.
tak semua yang ditulis sama.
tak semua yang tahu buku itu wujud.
hakikatnya tak siapa pun tahu apakah ia sebenarnya.

aku bukan jenis yang berahsia.
semua yang ada dihati, seringkali diluah walau tak dimengerti.
tapi buku ini, mungkin rahsia yang
aku tak rasa dunia perlu tahu.

mungkin pelik.
aku yang sedang bercerita tentang buku rahsia.
tapi, buku itu
adalah penenang jiwa
satu 'escapism'
dari dunia yang terlalu sering aku tempuhi
yang sejaknya aku sendiri sudah lupa

aku bukan perahsia
aku bukan sebuah misteri
aku buka hatiku sentiasa
untuk sesiapa yang ingin meneroka
cuma beberapa ketika
aku lebih selesa
sendiri, tak diketahui.

ruang dihati
tak semua mesti diisi
tinggalkan lah sekelumit
untuk kau lari menyembunyi diri.

mohawk bun

mohawk bun everybody loves :)

it's so very simple.
I saw some likes on my Facebook album so this is how I do it.
(saw the tutorial on YouTube actually. credits to RachhLoves) <3
subscribe.heheh.

1. Section your hair horizontally into three sections. (just like how you do it when you want to have that half ponytail on the upper part of your hair and letting the lower part to just fall freely).

2. Twist each sections, starting from the upper part, and roll it like snail's shell (with the core of the twist still visible - so that the little buns created won't look too cone-ish or ball-ish).

3. Secure the ends of each twists with bobby pins.

4. Walk out and be proud. :D

I'm happy with it coz it's so simple and not time-consuming.
the best part about it is that when you untwist them down, you'll have triple levels of gorgeous, big curls!.
the after-effect is just as awesome as it is in the first place.

had some compliments when I walk around the faculty, too. :)

happy experimenting.